Friday, August 17, 2012

Today's goal: think about what is important to you! A couple of days ago, I was on Netflix and came across a movie titled "A Little Bit of Heaven". I liked the main character in it so I decided to give it a try. What I was completely unaware of was how much it would 1) make me cry and 2) make me think...a lot...I'm a girl, so crying at movies just comes natural to me, especially these days, my hormones are a complete nightmare mess...anyway, this movie was about a young woman who learns she is dying, and she struggles to put right in her life the things that were wrong. She had to fix her relationship with her father, decide what her 3rd wish would be and how to deal with her loved ones around her and the effects of her death on them. How freakin sad! When I think about my dying, I hardly believe it would have an effect on anyone other than my husband and children....but I really don't know how many lives I touch, how many people like me more than I think or even how my own dogs would react. I'll never know...Does anyone ever really know? Do you have a bucket list? I don't, I wouldn't even begin to know what to put on one. I have done some things I wanted to do, but I've never had any lifelong dreams...I guess maybe because every year that goes by is one I never expected to see. I have a bunch of broken relationships, do I intend to fix them? not really, there's a reason why they're broken...I have a great love, I have an ordinary job, and my only dream is to move to the coast as soon as my daughter graduates from college, after that, its anyone's guess. I've never been one to aspire to do anything, never been one to save money, and I've surely never had those kinds of girly friendships where women take vacations together or go shopping at christmas time, its really very sad. I've never sat down to analyze my life and where its going. But this year, its been hard for me. I've decided to start working out, lose some weight and figure out which foods are going to actually work for my cells, and make me healthy. I have years of poor health choices behind me and I feel that I need to fix that. I don't want to die suddenly of a heart attack and I'm really not liking the wrinkles appearing on my face. I have no idea at what age I will die, but I know right now that I do need to do some things before I die...the question is, what? What do I need to do before I die? What do you need to do before you die?

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