Wednesday, July 11, 2007

What a day!

Well, I'm sitting here thinking that I do not want to return to work tomorrow..These last minutes of my days off are just depressing. I do nothing important, I don't get out of the house most days and I'm just a couch blob...I'm not depressed though, please don't think that, I'm just exhausted mostly. Today is a bit different though, I logged on to KSDK's website, that's our local television station here in St. Lou and I see the headlines that Lady Bird Johnson has died...that is pretty sad! She was 94 yrs old. Is it just me or is time really flying by? I'm not that old or anything, I'm 37, but it just seems that here lately the days go by so fast. I can't catch up with time, I probably don't want to either, but....I don't know...I may die of boredom before any serious illness gets me, but we'll see..

My house is quiet, I'm listening to the laundry in the dryer turn around and the television's on some movie about Havana Cuba with Robert Redford...My dogs are in the kitchen lying on the floor, the rabbit is with them. It's sunny outside and the temperatures are cooler today than yesterday. Today is a day of detox for my body. I made up my mind to quit smoking after I passed my RRT exams, I started the process to quit by taking the new drug, "Chantix". The drug after a couple of weeks started making me ill. I quit taking it during that time, but I had quit smoking for a week prior to that. You're supposed to eat a meal when you take it and at my job, I can't seem to ever make time for breakfast before 10 am. Anyways, I returned to smoking for a couple of days, and today is my first pretty smoke free day. I've had 3 cigarettes in the last 2 days, 2 yesterday and 1 today. I'm also off caffeine..I think that's what is making me so tired! I haven't had any soda in 3 days...too much all at once. And if you haven't caught on by now, I also haven't taken my adderall in 5 days or so..the story on that is if I'm up at 0600 I'll take it, but most times on my days off, I don't get up until after 1000. I can't take it after 1000 or I'll be up all, I'm detoxing, that may explain my extreme exhaustion/lethargy/laziness whatever....
but I'm determined to quit smoking, I don't want to be a COPD'er like my patients....
I know all the reasons to stop smoking and no reason to continue, however, I've been a smoker since I was 15, minus all my pregnancies and for whatever reason when I was in my 20's I could just stop smoking for 3 - 4 months and then for whatever reason just start dumb is that?
I'm gonna get...laundry is done...may write more later, just don't know...
Good Night Lady Bird....Thank You for everything you've done!
Rest in Peace, My God Bless your family

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