Marriage is a funny funny thing!

Today, my oldest brother and his wife are married 11 years. Congrats to you both and many happy more years together.
Now, last October, my younger brother and his wife were married 11 years! I say congrats to them too!
I love my family so much and I'm very happy for all their successes in life, but I'm truly happy that they are having very successful marriages. I haven't been so successful in that department. In fact, I've had two failed marriages. One, I attribute to both of us, basically because one did wrong, so the other one thought that they could do wrong and it would be justified. But, we all know, that's not how it goes.
In a failed marriage, both parties are at fault in some way or another. I guess that's why this time around I am guilty for even dragging my heals on the actual getting married part! I love my guy! I love him in ways I never ever loved another and I think its because we were friends before anything else. We were both just out of horrible relationships and we feared doing the dating scene again. I absolutely hate and detest dating a new guy! I just want to be with someone that I'm comfortable around! And when you meet a new "love interest", you can not be casual, for whatever reason, and I'm not sure who wrote the book on that, but its always as though you're up tight and stiff when you should be comfortable and relaxed. Dating is different when you're a mom already and you have kids to think about. Its the same if you're a dad and you have kids, are the kids going to like who you're dating? What if you date for a while, the kids like the person and then you find an incompatible thing between you and you break it off? What then?

But my brothers did it right, they married and a few years later, they had kids. They took it slow. I never did that. I wasn't that smart I guess, but now, I know what love is and I know what love isn't.

I don't like drama, I don't like to fight, I like peace and harmony in my home and will go to great lengths to try to keep the peace between all. Whatever it takes, I'll do it. And its worth it to me to see to it that everyone in my house is at peace.

One day, I'll get married again, and one day, it will be forever, but I'm not going to rush into anything when forever is at stake!

When its said that love is not jealous, its not jealous. I believe that.

When it says that love is kind, it is kind. I believe that.

When its said that love is forever, its forever. Now this word "Love", its thrown around so carelessly today. You can love anyone, but when you're choosing a life long partner, and you're going to sign a contract of marriage, if you can't see yourself with that person when you're both 90 years old, DON'T TELL THEM YOU LOVE THEM, AND DON'T SIGN A MARRIAGE CONTRACT!

When you do sign on for a commitment like that, you better know that you're going to have to work everyday of your life to keep that marriage growing and alive!

Its up to both parties to keep it alive, its a heavy load that one can't carry on his/her own.

Don't ever let your marriage become a burden and don't let it become someone else's business!

There are 5 signatures on a marriage license in most states. The partners for life, 2 witnesses and the officiant.

So, if you're conversing with an outside party about your marital problems if you have any, if they didn't sign your marriage license, they're not privileged to know your business. I mean this. This is where so many relationships fail, by letting outsiders in where they don't belong.

If you want relationship advice, find someone who's been in a successful relationship for a long time like 10 - 50+ years...Don't go to someone who's had horrible relationships in the past and none of them being longer than 2 - 3 years...They'll tell you all the wrong things...be careful when seeking advice when it comes to the rest of your life!

There's so much to say, but I have to work in the morning, so I'm going to cut it short, but keep these things in mind because marriage is serious business.

When I have time, I'll follow up on this
feel free to comment but only if you have good advice to share!

kT

Spring Break, Day 1

Officially, this is day 1 of spring break for me because I had to work on Friday and Saturday, technically, I'm supposed to be at work today, but it was arranged that I could have today off to get some much needed work done around my house. I have seriously neglected the "chores" for months and I was supposed to have some out of town company for the week, but due to circumstances beyond control, my company can not make it, so ...here I sit, on my new big comfy puffy sofa listening to serial killers on tv and blogging here for the first time in what feels like forever. My mid-term grades were good, I got 2 A's and 2 B's...so, that's alright by me. Life is getting tougher these days, I find myself in a struggle over resting vs. working. I know I have no school this week, but the work still has to be done. I have to build a clay brain this week, begin a research paper on the Black Panthers and study for a psych test on Monday when we return to school. I have 2 cases to brief for government and I have to seriously catch up on some reading for philosophy. I have to go upstairs and clean my office, I might do that today later, I have so many things to go through and pitch and so many things to sort and keep and its so overwhelming. I think I'll try to break up the week and do half day school work, half day cleaning. I have to re-pot some plants that I got after Dad died and I feel that if I don't do that this week, the plants may die.

I am not a plant type person, but because these are from Dad's memorial service, I'll make an honest go of it. I would also like to get together with some distant friends and catch up. My friends are only distant because I'm so busy lately. And....if the weather is right this week, I sure would love to get in a little fishing. True relaxation is sitting on the beach, throwin some bait out...

I just wish I could take 2 hours and go get a massage or something...my body aches and for the first time in my life, I feel 40 coming on quick!

To finish the week off right, I have to ask, Why are people so mean?
Why do people feel compelled to chew one's head off over something so unimportant? I'm not getting this! If you have a relevant beef, I understand, but something so small and petty, its truly ridiculous for someone to just GO OFF on someone else.

I saw some things go on at work these past few weeks and it just blows my mind how mean people can be...

well, I better go for now, I'll have to write more later but today, I just feel like taking a nap!

take care,
kT